I'm sure that some of these men are genuinely looking for love and I don't think for one second that love should be confined to your own social pool. I don't think that tis wrong to inject yourself into an environment where your chances of meeting a suitable mate are better, we do that all the time (think RSVP) and I understand that completely. What I don't understand is the clearly creepy 70 year old men that come here and hook up with girls barely out of high school. I'm not implying that generally these men have pedophilia tendencies, that's not what I mean (although sadly I'm sure there are some), I want to know how these men socialize with groups in their own age and socioeconomic group at home, but come to the Philippines and hook up with 19 year old girls. Sure I get the physical side of it but at some point you have to talk right??
Is your ego really that controlling that you would rather a 20 year old fake her undying desire for you rather than put yourself into the dating pool of similarly aged women who have some chance of having at least something in common with you, hence something to actually talk about??
I managed to get a guy to talk to me about it by the time we got to Moalboal and I was not at all surprised by the stores he told unfortunately.
He was actually married to a Thai lady for 18 years who he met in London when they were both travelling the world as backpackers. They had three children and lived in Ontario (his home) for three years before getting married, stayed there their whole married lives and then he has continued to live there after her unfortunate death 8 years ago. His children are grown, the last one in college and he has recently retired and has re-embraced the love of travel he shared with his wife when they were young. Now - before I go any further must mention that this guy is young (49) and SMOKING hot. I'm not kidding - he may be one of the best looking sexiest men I've ever seen!
So after spotting him sitting at the bar fending off a never ending stream of Philippino women I fgured, what the hell and went up to chat to him. He was a very nice guy and more than happy to indulge my curiosity about the subject matter.
He was telling me that while he came to the Philippines for the sole purpose of adventure caving, he would be hesitant to come back on his own. He was loving the country but really struggling with the assumption by both Western and the Philippino's themselves that he was here looking for a bride simply because he was on his own. He told stories of being followed back to his accommodation, of begging, of solicitation offers, of being approached by parents, but mostly of having his ego stroked by these women who, as long as you pay for their costs and nothing more, will just accompany you on your Philippine adventure. He said that he was approached daily by young women asking if he wanted some company for his vacation. I asked of course if he thought they were prostitutes and his assumption was that some of course were, however he believed that the major percentage were just young girls trying to ingrain themselves into your life making it hard for you to leave them and go back to Western women who don't continually fawn over you. Trying to get you to take them. Trying to get up the life ladder anyway they can.
We started chatting about things we had seen and he commented that he had a few men tell him how good it was to have a built in tour guide, translator and of course sexual partner for two weeks just for the cost of food really. Guys bragging about it. Telling him he was mad for not "grabbing one". Thank god I found this man and not some other neanderthal to chat to about it. His honesty was so refreshing and at one point he commented that while you know these girls are trying to get to a Western country, after a while it seems almost appealing. He is very successful at home (hence the retirement at 48), and while he would like to start another relationship most women in his area either know who he is or can find out easily and he has the constant challenge of whether someone really likes him or his money. One two year relationship dissolved simply because he wouldn't open a joint account with the woman in question. He said he didn't think they had that kind of relationship yet and the next day got the "you're not committed" speech and she left. Who leaves someone they supposedly love because they aren't at the same place in the relationship? Someone who doesn't actually love you I guess. Realizing this, he told me that having these women throw themselves at you after a while had made him have a small understanding why some of these Western men come to the Asian countries to find wives. These women aren't savvy in the ways of the west and it would be very easy to hide your assets, have a prenup drawn up to protect yourself and then sit back knowing you were covered. Of course that is provided that you didn't want a relationship based on love and mutual respect which didn't appeal to him at all.